Why We Have a Hard Time Doing What We “Want” To Do
I’ll do it later.
Later comes.
Oh, I still really want to do this thing. But not right now. I’ll wait even later.
Even later comes.
Eventually, the gnawing in the back of your brain grows to “do the thing.” It compounds like multiple snooze hits on the alarm. The thing isn’t even daunting or sucky in any way — you’re just not doing it. I understand putting off things that aren’t exactly fun to do (I still have to clean the bathroom — it’s been on my to-do for three days), but what about things that you do want to do? Planning a vacation, learning how to knit, walking the dog, looking into getting a tattoo, reading that book, writing that article (oh, do I know that feeling), watching that TV show that all of your friends are talking about…why are these kinds of tasks that are objectively enjoyable, if not a bit challenging, something we put off?
Furthermore, why do we put off these tasks to sometimes do things that are equally or even more challenging? You’ve been there. I’m not talking about putting the more “enjoyable tasks” aside to do things you have to do — that’s just good motivational sense. Do your homework before watching the good TV show. I’m talking about putzing around, scrolling online, and doing empty, nothing stuff with your day instead of the fun, “want-to-do” things compounding in your brain.
This whole discussion essentially boils down to two factors:
- The brain gravitates towards doing as little as possible, and;
- The brain needs a pretty good reason to do a task.
But first, Point 1:
Your Delightfully “Lazy” Brain
Everything your body does requires calories, brain power, and physical action that your brain is entirely in charge of doing.
When not doing anything requiring immediate focus, your brain goes into a “default mode network.” Meanwhile, when actively performing a task, electrical synapses required to perform that task light up in the brain — remember, the brain needs to exert extra energy and force in this mode.
The default mode network isn’t just your brain taking a break. Looking at this piece from Wired.com, the default mode network “consists of a handful of brain regions” that work together for “memory, experience replay, prediction, action consideration, reward/punishment, and information integration.” Your brain is processing information, working out problems, and getting big picture stuff figured out.
And frankly, it’s a space for the brain to step away and recover to fully take care of a task. Have you ever had to work on a problem — video game level, math problem, crossword puzzle — that you couldn’t crack until after you’ve stepped away from it? Your brain needed to process things using an entirely different network. It needed to stop using the brain synapses you were burning up while working on the problem.
It may seem like your brain is “lazy” and wants to do the least amount of work possible. To this extent, this is kind of true — your brain is evolutionarily wired to be more sedentary and conserve energy, as further explained by this University of British Columbia study. When you pull your brain away from comfortable default, you have to push it in a certain direction.
Even enjoyable things don’t use the default mode network. It’s brain work. Yet, there’s a way to get out of default mode once in a while…onto Point 2.
A Brain in Motion
To actually break out of this default mode network and do something with purpose and motivation, we essentially have to trick our brain. Looking at what Harvard says, we do this in one of two ways: either through approach or avoidance motivation.
The “approach method” is all about what you can gain from a task. What’s the reward? Is it “intrinsic” — things either with internal value (bringing pleasure, developing a skill) — or “extrinsic” — something with external value (money, candy, tickets to see Metallica)?
Meanwhile, the “avoidance method” is all about what you can, well, avoid by doing a task. You go to work to not just earn money (approach method) but to also avoid repercussions from your boss, losing money, or getting fired altogether (avoidance method).
Still, it’s not that straightforward. When you earn a reward, your brain gets a shot of dopamine. It doesn’t matter to the brain where it gets its dopamine from — Facebook notifications, a YouTube video, a TV show, candy, you name it. The brain will only go so long before wanting to get even a little boost of dopamine. We could even be doing something quite passive — watching TV — and still scroll through social media simultaneously. What’s better than one shot of dopamine, but two?
Doing something fun and fulfilling does provide dopamine. However, the issue is that the fun things you have in mind aren’t the only source of dopamine that your brain can go to, or the quickest source of dopamine. Think of being hungry: taking the time to cook a well-made meal is going to provide a higher quantity of dopamine, but grabbing a bag of chips is going to provide a more immediate source of dopamine. See your brain time and again, then, wanting to grab the chips.
How, then, to we deal with this constant, unconscious search for dopamine to do the undeniably more rewarding thing?
Get In The Flow
Flow is a fascinating concept. First recognized by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (cheek-sent-mee-hai), “flow” is the brain state of engrossment in a task. You lose your sense of time and your brain commits to something.
Getting into flow requires effort — it’s like jumping into a pool. Ask a musician, an athlete, a writer, or anyone who experiences “flow” on a regular basis if it’s “easy” to get into the zone. Even if one is passionate about their craft, their sport, or whatever else, they still meet resistance to do what they do.
Furthermore, our brain can only go for so long in a state of flow. While science on the matter is still new, flow will eventually die down after a couple of hours. Remember, the brain needs to recuperate in default mode. Everything requires mental work.
We have our own busy lives, and we’re constantly making quick decisions about what to do with our time. What’s our schedule? What environmental factors are at play before I begin doing something? Is there something more important to do now? Can something wait? Is there something better to do?
Our brains aren’t always rational. Even for tasks that have tangible rewards (i.e. money), elements like pleasure, motivation, and progress towards our dreams aren’t quantifiable and objective. We aren’t living in The Sims, where a little progress bar forms over our head when we practice painting or cooking.
Thusly, we still end up having to compete with mind wandering, distractions, and other forms of dopamine when we face doing something we want to do. Dreams take time, and ambitions can feel lofty. Tasks that are enjoyable to do are still tasks. Knowing about these factors, however, will help us make better decisions about our time and lead us to doing things that are actually satisfying.
Put the chips down. Make the meal.
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