WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR GOALS OVERWHELM YOU
There’s so much that I want to do in life. A list of projects that I want to write. Debt I want to pay off. Books I want to read. Places I want to go.
When I think about what I want to do, it’s going to undoubtedly require a lot of work. It’s also going to come with people who balk at my plans.
“It’s incredibly hard to publish a book.”
“It’s nearly impossible to write a play.”
“If you want to do this thing, there is so much luck involved.”
You get in your head that you’re nothing. You think to yourself, “I don’t deserve my dreams anyway. I’m not good enough.” You believe the general consensus that your dreams are impossible, so you get this sinking feeling that you shouldn’t even try. These goals that you have weigh you down and overwhelm you.
First off, take a deep breath.
Think about all of the famous, powerful, successful people in the world whose dreams were “too big” and were told to give up. No, you can’t be a basketball player. Oh, you want to be an actor? That’s cute. And yet, they succeeded, despite all the failures and obstacles and nay-sayers and self-doubt moments (believe me, they too had self doubt — don’t tell me otherwise).
If you go on the Internet and search how to do such-and-such thing, or you talk to your peers about what you want to do, or if you’re casually watching or reading something and you get exposed to the “how hard it is” idea, there is one factor that is shared here: they don’t know you like you know you.
Yes, of course dreams are hard — and yet people accomplish hard things anyway. Why can’t you? You’re a gifted, talented person who has made things happen and has developed a unique skill set. You are able to accomplish the impossible.
There are plenty of hard things that are part of life’s cycle. Going to college, getting a good job, finding a person to spend the rest of your life with, starting a family, etc. If you do these things, you’re congratulated, but no one’s balking at your choice to do them. There’s no one saying that you can’t do them because it’s impossible, because they’re all expected of you.
People are really only going to question the hard goals that aren’t expected of you.
Here’s my main advice for when things feel impossible: impossible things happen by following possible steps that you want to take and seeing where they take you.
It’s really that simple. How did Beyoncé become Beyoncé? She didn’t just wake up one day and land on stage with the help of a fairy godmother. There was a natural progression.
Sometimes things are daunting because they are so luck-based. If you want to be an actor in Hollywood, everyone’s going to tell you that that’s beyond difficult. Sadly, they’re right. This dream is hard, and it should overwhelm you. With that said, breathe, take some acting classes just for the joy of it, and work through things step-by-step. See where things take you — maybe you become a stand-up comedian instead of a Hollywood A-Lister and love it.
I want to also mention that setting high standards for yourself doesn’t always have to be your go-to. Why do you want to be an actor in Hollywood? Is it because you want to be mega-rich and über famous, or is it because you love acting so much and want to be at the heart of it? If you make it in La La Land, God bless. But if you’re one of the multitudes who don’t, what are you going to do? Go back to your high school job at 30 because you think that you can’t do any better?
Aim for ambitious dreams. Have a reason to be excited about life. Learn, grow, challenge yourself. Above all, don’t be shaken and discouraged by the fact that these dreams are hard. You’ll be thrown in the midst of a lot of daunting obstacles on your journey. Yet, it’s part of this journey to know what you want to do at these obstacles. Do you want to re-route and change your dream — which is perfectly fine and isn’t stressed enough? Do you want to rethink your approach to your dream? Do you need to sit down and journal why you have this dream in the first place?
It’s your life. Live it on your terms.
